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By Sarah Carrington
IMOM Board of Directors
"In loving memory of Banjo who taught us so much".
 YES! You can keep your whole family together!
Your dog has always been important to you. He has
shown you unconditional love and has been with you
through all your ups and downs. Now you are having a
baby!
CONGRATULATIONS! You are in for the best time of your
life! Among your whole family that will support you
and your baby - you have your beloved dog who will be
there with his love, silent understanding and playful
nudges. What an incredible
lesson for your child as she grows to adulthood, she
will learn about pure love and devotion from her
beloved pup. She will learn to love all animals, how
to treat them with respect and how to care for them.
Along with these lessons, she will likely have fewer
allergies! According to a study published in the
August 28, 2002 issue of the Journal of the American
Medical Association children raised in a house with
two or more dogs or cats during the first year of life
show a significantly reduced risk of developing
allergic diseases as compared with children raised
without pets. This study was supported by the National
Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID)
and the National Institute of Environmental Health
Sciences (NIEHS).
As you prepare your house and the baby's room so too
must you prepare you pet. You have 10 months to work
on those last problems he may have. He may be a jumper
or a biter (those little nips on your fingers when you
give him a treat). This is the time to really work
with him. I wholeheartedly recommend a trainer who
only teaches positive reinforcement methods. You don't
need to scare your dog to teach him to listen. Nor do
you want him frightened around your child. Physical
punishment teaches your dog to be afraid and
aggressive. That's not a good recipe for keeping your
family together.
So let's get started!
PREPARE:
Prepare your dog for the new baby. Will you be
able to give your dog all the attention you are giving
him now? If you can't possibly bring yourself to
giving him less attention now then be prepared to work
hard when the baby comes to give him lots of attention
then. Otherwise you may need to start giving him a
little less attention before your baby is born. You
don't want your dog to associate the lack of attention
with the arrival of the new baby, leaving him to think
she is competition or a threat. I'm not suggesting you
should neglect your pet or ignore him before the baby
comes. But he may need to learn "it's not your turn".
And when the baby does come you need to remember that
he too needs your time and attention.
Start carrying around a doll so that your pet gets
used to you having your arms full. Wrap the doll in a
baby's blanket that has a baby's scent or sprinkle
baby powder/lotion on it. Walk around the house with
the wrapped doll as if it were your baby, talk to it,
put it on your lap while watching TV, let your dog
sniff it. Watch how he reacts and work out any issues
that come up. Does he want to crawl in your lap when
the baby is there? Remind him it isn't his turn and
encourage him to lie quietly near by. Later give your
partner the doll and take some time to pet and play
with your dog. Teach him that he will get attention
but he may have to wait. Help your dog get used to
seeing you with a bundle in your arms, and you'll get
used to figuring out how to hold your baby and still
give your pup some scratches behind the ears.
Your dog will need to get used to all the new gadgets
you have for your baby. Let him sniff things as you
put them together. Give him a chance to get used to
the swing - first with it still and then as it swings.
Let your dog sniff the new stroller. Once he gets used
to it, take him for walks and bring the stroller. It
takes some practice so your dog doesn't get run over
by the wheels. It's easier to practice with out a baby
on board! Praise your dog when he accepts his new
surroundings.
Play a CD of baby sounds. Start off with the volume
low and then increase the volume slowly to the level
of a real baby as he gets used to it. Preparing Fido
is one example of a CD that has recorded baby sounds
such as crying and cooing and laughing baby sounds.
http://www.preparingfido.com/
After your baby is born ask the hospital for a cap
that she has worn so you can take it home to your dog.
Let him smell the cap that has your baby's scent on
it. Let him carry it around and get used to it. When
you bring your baby home, let the dog smell her. Stay
close and never leave your pet and baby alone
together. But remember every day to give your dog a
chance to sniff the baby, let him get used to her
presence. As she grows and walks remember to always
allow them time together under supervision.
TEACH YOUR DOG BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES:
Teach gentle when taking treats - don't let your dog
bite your hand when taking treats and praise him when
he takes it gently. Keep the treat if his teeth touch
your hand and try again so he is only rewarded when he
takes it gently. Soon your baby will be able to grasp
objects and if your dog knows how to take treats
gently she can start giving your dog treats too! This
teaches your dog that your baby is important to the
pack and offers food. Your dog should learn Leave-it
as well. Sometimes baby's food is for baby and a quick
leave-it will tell your dog it isn't for him this
time.
Quiet
or Shhhh - don't wake the baby! Does your dog woof or
wag his tail against all doors and walls in the house?
Teach your dog to be quiet when the baby is sleeping.
If your dog is barking, say Good speak and find out
what he is barking at! "Yes, that's a squirrel
outside, good boy!" Then hold a treat out and say shhhhhh. He'll quiet down to take the treat
- say good Shhhh! Also remember that if you keep your house
perfectly quiet for the baby - she'll never be able to
sleep unless it is perfectly quiet. It is often
difficult to stop your pet from barking when the
doorbell rings or a squirrel invades the back yard.
Early exposure to doorbells, phones and woofs will
help her to be less startled when she hears them.
Eventually she'll be able to sleep right through these
sounds and she won't wake when your pup occasionally
says hello to the pizza guy!
No Jump! Teach your dog not to jump up on people.
Turning your back on him when he's jumping on you
stops the attention. When he stops jumping turn around
and give him a treat or a good scratch on the back.
Say GOOD DOG!! If he starts to jump again - turn
away immediately and keep your back to him. He'll
learn he doesn't get attention when he jumps and he
gets lots of attention when he sits quietly!
Does your dog cuddle on the couch with you? You may
want to teach your dog he can come up when invited so
he doesn't try to jump up while the baby is being
dressed or changed. Some dogs with aggressive
tendencies will act dominant if they are at the same
level or above humans/babies. For most dogs this isn't
an issue but be aware of how your dog acts while you
are all on the couch. If there is a problem handle it
now. Follow the NILIF program - Nothing In Life Is
Free. If you search the internet you will find a lot
of information on this. As your child grows she's
going to be all over the floor. Sometimes the couch is
a safe place for your dog, where he can stay with the
family but not be pulled on by the baby. For some dogs
the better option is on the other side of the baby
gate. But this keeps him from the family as well.
Encourage your dog to join you, try to work out
options that allow you to be together as a family. The
more your baby and dog are together the sooner they
will get used to each other.
So your dog is untrainable. Even the trainer said so.
Don't believe them. Find another trainer or
behaviorist. And consider - are you truly doing all
that is needed at home to reinforce what you learned
during the training class? Are you giving your dog
enough exercise so he's calm enough to pay attention
to his lessons? You would never give up if it was your
child. You are setting an example for your child;
teach her that no one gets thrown away when the going
gets tough.
TEACH YOUR CHILD:
Teach your child to respect dogs, cats and all pets.
Don't allow her to pull tails' fur or ears. Animals
are not toys, jungle gyms or ponies, they are living
beings that are sensitive and feel pain. Yet pets do
not know that defending themselves by biting and
scratching is unacceptable behavior to humans. Teach
both how to interact with each other. Allow your baby
to pet your dog with an open hand, gently, with your
hand guiding hers, say gentle each time. Just like
teaching your dog how to behave around your child you
also need to teach your child how to be kind and
gentle to her dog. Pay attention to your dog's
reaction. He may be uneasy about the baby touching
him. They both need to practice. If he growls or
raises his lip - stop. Ease back. Let your dog get
used the baby, her smells and her touch.
Never leave a child alone with your dog until the
child is 8-10 years old. No matter how good and gentle
your pet has always been they will defend themselves
when they feel threatened. Thousands of children are
bitten by dogs every year, many by the family dog. You
need to make sure your child is careful around the
dog. When you can't watch them closely, put your baby
and dog on opposite sides of the baby gate. Teach your
child to leave a dog alone when he is playing with a
toy, eating, chewing a bone or sleeping.
Teach your child to avoid strange dogs. They should
never walk up to a strange dog and start petting it or
talking to it. If the owner is there teach your child
to always ask if they can pet the dog first. Then show
her how to approach a dog with her hand extended below
his nose. Let him sniff her hand before she starts
petting the dog. Some dogs that seem calm and friendly
could be uncomfortable
and aggressive to children. Never assume a dog is
friendly. A child should never reach into a car window
or fenced yard to pet a dog, no matter how friendly he
seems. This is a dog's territory, they will protect it
and can jump fences. If the dog is loose and alone
teach your child to move safely away and leave the dog
alone. If the dog seems aggressive or frightened
(snarling, fur on the back standing up, baring teeth,
curling lips, lunging, blocking path or tail tucked)
don't make eye contact. Remain calm and wait until the
dog loses interest before moving away. Never run away
from the dog screaming. Keep your arms flat against
your sides, talk soothingly or sing a relaxing song
and if you have some food drop it on the ground-
hopefully the dog will go for that. Then calmly walk
away, backwards, staying aware of where the dog is at
all times. If the dog does attack, teach her to fold
her arms and protect her face. If pushed down, teach
her to lie on her stomach and wrap her arms around her
head and wait until help comes. In general teach your
child to love and be gentle with animals but to also
respect their space and signals.
EXERCISE:
Your dog needs to go for a walk. You and your baby
could use some fresh air. Take them both out! I found
that it was much easier to put a baby in a Bjorn or
Moby Wrap (cloth that wraps around you and swaddles
your baby to you). If your dog starts pulling on his
leash you aren't trying to hold him back and keep your
stroller on the sidewalk. Although strollers do have
an advantage as they provide shade. If you have 2 dogs
take one for a walk in the morning and one in the
evening. Is it baby's nap time? That's a great time to
go for a walk! She'll sleep peacefully to the gentle
rocking motion as you walk. She may start out fussing
but a little time outside, gently swaying and off to
sleep she'll go.
Keep a normal routine with your dog. If you can keep a
routine with the dog throughout this early period, the
dog will be more inclined to accept changes going on
in the house. Be diligent about taking your dog for
his regular exercise. If your dog isn't able to expend
his own excess energies, his behavior will deteriorate
from boredom and loneliness.
Some people find that their dogs are very energetic
and they just can't give their pet what he needs while
getting used to the newborn's schedule. Find a family
member, friend or neighbor who can help walk your pet
while you adjust to your new schedule. But work out a
plan so that you can be sure to work your pet back
into your schedule. You would make time for an
energetic child and you can make time for a pet as
well.
RELAX:
Fur time will be one of your biggest helpers when your
newborn arrives. Take
advantage
of it! When baby first comes home she'll be awake
every 2-4 hours. It can be stressful to go from being
awake caring for your baby to sleeping immediately and
then waking up again in what might only be a 1/2 hour.
Fur time is helpful here. Petting your pet will help
you to relax and settle down. Once your baby has
fallen asleep, take a few minutes to give your pet
some attention. Why not - you're going to be tired
anyway - what's a few more minutes? But it's the world
to your pup.
Do you have your hands full with your baby? If you
have a significant other helping - have him/her give
your pup some attention while the other's hands are
full. Do you have other children so his/her hands are
full too? Consider how parents of 3 kids do it - they
make the effort and each child gets some attention.
Your effort will pay off with his love and affection.
Mom's hormones may be going crazy after she has the
baby and you'll both be lacking sleep as well. Take it
down a notch and enjoy the calming effects of giving
your pet a belly rub or scratch on the back.
MEDICAL ISSUES:
One final thought - if your dog starts acting
differently since the baby came along it could be a
medical problem. Don't be so quick to chalking it up
to he is acting "jealous" because he's not getting as
much attention. It's easy to think that dogs act and
react like a person does but in reality they don't.
Don't be slow to bring your dog to the vet to get a
check up. You might find the reason for his change in
behavior is medical.
As your baby grows you'll realize there are always new
challenges to keeping your family together. Soon your
baby will be crawling, walking, climbing and bringing
new challenges to the household. Keep working with
your child and your dog, teaching both how to interact
with each other. Enjoy your adventures together!
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