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Diana C.

Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

9 posts in this topic

Moved from old community 8/3/06

Author Comment

JeanKBBMMMAA

Registered User

Posts: 758

(8/25/05 10:28 pm)

Reply Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

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My mom was fostering Mariska and I fostered Ivan, Mariska's son. Mariska was a wonderful girl and if she had been able to have a life and beginning like she gave her boy Ivan, today would have been so different. For whatever reason, that was not meant to be. What a sad, sad thing. She was just too sensitive and too special for this world.

Mariska's only fault was a heart too big and too easily scarred by the ugliness she had encountered in her past. She continued to face everything with great fear and anxiety, and was never sure when or if she needed to defend herself. With person or dog, she had the potential to lash out unpredictably. It was decided we had to let her move on to wait for us at the Bridge.

Mariska did so well at the vet's. For the first time, she was able to relax. They gave her a sedative, and she was finally at peace. Her beauty shone through so completely, because she was truly without fear or anxiety. Her passing went quickly and easily.

She was loved.

She is missed.

Edited by: JeanKBBMMMAA at: 8/25/05 11:22 pm

MidnightsMommy

Registered User

Posts: 213

(8/26/05 12:46 am)

Reply Re: Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

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I am so sorry but am glad shes at peace and in fear and no more pain....WHAT a beautiful tribute...and doggy

Laura imom

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 484

(8/26/05 5:13 am)

Reply Re: Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

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Jean, I am so very sorry. Please give my condolences to your mother as well. I am sure this was very hard on both of you. May Mariska be at the bridge, forever free from fear.

Laura

Judy Leathers

Registered User

Posts: 3373

(8/26/05 6:56 am)

Reply Re: Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

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Jean, my heart is breaking for you and your Mom

It is so sad when animals have to suffer from the hands of man. Know that you and your Mom did absolutely everything possible to help Mariska.

She was able to be in a home where she was shown love and care.

She suffers no more...Sadly Judy

Linda IMOM

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 1528

(8/26/05 9:58 am)

Reply Re: Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

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I am so sad for Sweet Mariska. I just don't have the words right now, her behavior wasn't her fault, a result of her circumstances. Poor baby, she'll find My Lady at RB - who will play with her, and play and play and play.

Collie Hugs - Linda aka ellgee

Please click below to visit my furbabies

community.webshots.com/album/134598199QrXRlg

Please visit Monty's memorial page

www.svcsr.org/notforgot/monty.htm

Although I can't seem to make this "clickable" heres Monty's IMOM forum when he was a PINkid

http://p088.ezboard.com/fimomcommunityfrm3...opicID=88.topic

Kim

Local user

Posts: 5416

(8/26/05 12:37 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska of BrightStar, aka Ivan's Mom

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Jean, neither one of us believes in convenience euthanasias, but the kind of unpredictable aggression that you were seeing with Mariska takes this way out of the realm of "convenience." We know you and your mom didn't make this decision lightly and that it hurt like hell. We also know that you have shown over and over again your willingness to take on challenging dogs. But this poor girl was just too damaged by her terrible experience with worthless humans. I'm so sorry that Mariska couldn't be a happy ending like Anna, but you did free her from all that anxiety she felt and we have to believe she's in a happier state now.

Also, remember that you did a wonderful thing for Mariska by caring for her baby boy.

, my friend.

Juli IMOM

Board of Directors

Posts: 1702

(8/26/05 12:55 pm)

Reply Mariska (GA)

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Jean,

Sending my condolences to you and your mother. I'm so sorry for your loss. May Mariska be waiting for you at the Bridge.

Juli

mareanteasin

Registered User

Posts: 3528

(8/26/05 1:29 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska (GA)

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Jean,

many ...i know this wasn't easy. bless you.

Precious and Marea

mareanteasin

Registered User

Posts: 3529

(8/26/05 1:31 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska (GA)

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Quote:

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I'm so sorry that Mariska couldn't be a happy ending like Anna, but you did free her from all that anxiety she felt and we have to believe she's in a happier state now.

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Kim said a lot in that post that you can hang onto.

Precious and Marea

Victoria CIC

Registered User

Posts: 300

(8/26/05 1:35 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska (GA)

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Thinking of you....and am so sorry for your loss.

Kay

Registered User

Posts: 2166

(8/26/05 3:07 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska (GA)

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Jean, my deepest sympathies to you, your mom, and to BrightStar. Your tribute to Mariska was beautiful --

JeanKBBMMMAA

Registered User

Posts: 759

(8/26/05 3:31 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska (GA)

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Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts. I am grateful that my mom and I were given the chance to help her, even though it was not in the way we wanted to. A friend used to say that God always answers our prayers, just not always with the answers we want. The blessing in this case is that Mariska will live on in Ivan, and will have the most incredible life through him with his forever family.

We had been doing a lot of denying the behaviors we were seeing. On Sunday, she forced us to be honest. Mariska attacked Kramer and it was only through luck that he was not seriously injured or killed. This was the first and only dog that has ever even challenged him. This in and of itself was very telling.

Midnight's Mom-so incredibly beautiful was this dog...she would just take your breath away. The changes as she got healthier, too. Her boy looks so much like her.

Laura-thank you. I will print this out for my mom to read. I am looking forward to seeing Mariska again, happy and relaxed.

Judy-I have been thinking how much I wish Mariska had been your dog all her life. She would have been so happy, healthy, and able to be the truly sweet girl she was intended to be. Thank you.

Linda-you are so right-those behaviors weren't her. She never meant to hurt anyone or anything. Unfortunately, what happened Sunday opened all our eyes to the what ifs...what if Mariska got out an open door at my mom's and attacked the dog that's with the man in the motorized wheelchair, what if someone stepped on her by mistake that wasn't aware of the fact that she would bite them, so many accidental things just waiting to happen to her-and she sensed every single frightening thing in this world. And was prepared to defend herself against them. She's an "if only" dog-if only I didn't have any other dogs, if only I lived on a very quiet back road, if only I lived where there were no other dogs around, no children, and then when we added up the if only statements...Luckily my mom and I didn't have to make the decision. A group of four evaluators did after spending time with her, and when my mom and I fessed up to all the "little bites" and incidents that had happened before the big one, a decision was made. Bless poor Mariska for having to pay the price for idiots. She did like the "bowl" of the gully behind my mom's-it is always strangely quiet. That is where we will put some of her ashes-so she will always have her one peaceful spot in this world. That's where the recent pictures were taken.

Kim-You hit all my guilt thoughts in one fell swoop and I appreciate all that you have said to help me let them go. I am sure my mom and I will play the what if thing forever, but yes, her incidences were escalating while she was in probably the quietest, most isolated foster home available. I have spent about 8 years rehabbing Kramer (he's fear aggressive, kid/dominance aggressive) but did it when it was just him and me. And he was predictable. See a kid-distract the dog. Poor Mariska had so many triggers, and we just couldn't ever know how high her level of aggression was going to go. As a rescue, we (unfortunately) have a responsibility in that area. I kept thinking maybe we could find someone...but then realized that just the stress of being adopted would hurt Mariska, and add to her issues. <sigh> I have played this out so many times, and now I am doing it in writing. Thanks for the chance to do so.

Juli-thanks so much-my mom is beside herself. We were both with her at the vet's and we will both someday see her again, I hope, at the Bridge.

Marea-thank you so much. Just thanks for everything.

Victoria-I really appreciate your sympathies. It has been a looong week.

Kay-thanks so much. BrightStar has a page of fallen stars-dogs who have passed in their BrightStar homes. It is so hard to see Mariska there.

When I was taking pictures of her yesterday, a butterfly kept hovering nearby. As I came home just a little while ago, a butterfly greeted me, fluttering near my door. Thank you, Mariska.

Edited by: JeanKBBMMMAA at: 8/26/05 8:12 pm

Kim

Local user

Posts: 5417

(8/26/05 4:31 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska (GA)

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Quote:

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On Sunday, she forced us to be honest.

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Jean, this is a very wise way to look at it. Give yourself credit for that.

Quote:

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As a rescue, we (unfortunately) have a responsibility

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That's right. We're placing animals in other people's homes. But even if you had decided to keep Mariska yourself, it would have been too risky. My God, Jean, when I think of what could have happened if she had gone after one of your dogs again and the whole pack reacted -- you could have gotten mauled trying to break it up and several of the dogs would have been injured or worse. Aside from safety, all of you would have been wary around Mariska, and you can't ask your dogs (or yourself) to live with that kind of anxiety all the time.

Know I've said this before and sorry to be boring, but I truly believe it: As unbearably sad as it is to lose an animal you were trying to help, at least they mattered to someone. Mariska was loved and will always be remembered. If you and your mom hadn't come into the picture, she would have lived her whole life as some nameless dog in a puppy mill, churning out litters and getting no attention (forget love!) except as part of some bastard's profit margin.

Quote:

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She did like the "bowl" of the gully behind my mom's-it is always strangely quiet. That is where we will put some of her ashes-so she will always have her one peaceful spot in this world.

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That's so fitting. The gift of peace for the beautiful girl with the tortured soul. Jean, would a butterfly bush survive WNY winters? That might be a nice addition to Mariska's resting place. I'm so glad you noticed that butterfly -- I bet it was her.

You owe me Kleenex again!!

smalk50

Registered User

Posts: 389

(8/26/05 4:34 pm)

Reply Mariska

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What a beautiful creature! And how blessed she was that you and your Mom took her in and gave her a chance. Her beauty does come through in your wonderful photos of her - as does her presence. What monsters could try and kill such a beautiful spirit?!

Quote:

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When I was taking pictures of her yesterday, a butterfly kept hovering nearby. As I came home just a little while ago, a butterfly greeted me, fluttering near my door. Thank you, Mariska.

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Mariska will always be in your and your Mom's heart - that butterfly was to let you know that your hearts are with her - forever!

Take care and pass on my heartfelt condolences to your Mom,

Chris

Laurie

Local user

Posts: 1563

(8/26/05 4:49 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska

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I am so so sorry for your loss.Please pass on my deepest sympathies to your Mom too. This is so hard to go through. I wish there were words to ease tyour pain but know we are here for you anytime.

Love Laurie,Kori and family

Judy Leathers

Registered User

Posts: 3377

(8/26/05 6:56 pm)

Reply Mariska

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Jean, I can't believe that Kim suggested a butterfly bush to you...

Marea was talking of planting flowers for her friend and what came to my mind, but a butterfly bush...

I hope that butterfly was Mariska visiting you and telling you that she was flying free...

A butterfly bush will survive our winters. I have a lovely one growing in the corner of our front yard...

I will think of Mariska everytime I see a butterfly .

Jean, tears came to my eyes when you said you wished Mariska could have lived with us...Thank You...

I think Kim said everything that could be said. And you both owe me some kleenex.

to you and your Mom. Judy

Edited by: Judy Leathers at: 8/27/05 8:53 am

Linda IMOM

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 1540

(8/26/05 9:07 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska

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Mariska's RB thread has such beautiful comments, I love the butterfly bush idea, a beautiful rememberence that lives on, nourishes beautiful creatures. My heart hurts for the sad life that Mariska endured - I know everyone at Bright Star must feel this loss in such a painful way, Mariska is free - at last.

Collie Hugs - Linda aka ellgee

Please click below to visit my furbabies

community.webshots.com/album/134598199QrXRlg

Please visit Monty's memorial page

www.svcsr.org/notforgot/monty.htm

Although I can't seem to make this "clickable" heres Monty's IMOM forum when he was a PINkid

http://p088.ezboard.com/fimomcommunityfrm3...opicID=88.topic

AandKReed

Registered User

Posts: 267

(8/26/05 9:32 pm)

Reply Re: Mariska

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Oh, Jean, please accept our heartfelt condolences, and please also pass them on to your Mother.

Mariska was a lovely girl, and we so very much agree that it was not FAIR life dealt her a crappy hand. It's wonderful, though, that you're going to put part of her ashes in a PEACEFUL place. How very fitting.

Now, someone pass Keith and I the kleenex...the tributes are beautiful, but cause the tears to fall rapidly.

Hugs for you and your Mother, Jean.

Amanda, Keith, and "The Wild Bunch" (with two special angels riding shotgun)

paulajmnj

Registered User

Posts: 841

(8/27/05 7:14 am)

Reply Re: Mariska

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Jean,

Condolences to you and your Mom. Mariska was very beautiful and i am glad that she was reunited with Ivan. that

pic of them "singing" is so precious.

she is at peace..she must have had panic attacks all day long..poor girl.i know how hard this must have been for both of you. and i am so sorry that she was beyond help.

p

Laura imom

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 489

(8/27/05 9:18 am)

Reply Re: Mariska

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Jean,

I think a butterfly bush would be just beautiful near Mariska's favorite spot. It's strange because I was just reading on another website a few days ago about people planting them for their GA's. I'm thinking of adding a few to my backyard for my bridge babies...

Laura

Kim

Local user

Posts: 5419

(8/27/05 9:30 am)

Reply Judy...

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I wish every dog could live the life that Kayla and Cody have had with you and Dale.

Sadly, Paula, it sounds like you're right - that Mariska must have had panic attacks frequently. Jean, I think you and the BrightStar evaluators not only took into account the danger to others that she might pose, but also how stressful Mariska's daily life was for her. This beautiful dog's story isn't doing much for my I HATE PEOPLE mantra.... could we go shut down a puppy mill in her memory?

The photos of Mariska and Ivan together are so wonderful - even more poignant now. Next time you see him, please give him a hug from all of us.

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Author Comment

mareanteasin

Registered User

Posts: 3552

(8/27/05 1:06 pm)

Reply Re: Judy...

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Quote:

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I hope that butterfly was Mariska visiting you and telling you that she was flying free...

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Thinking of you Jean, and Mariska at RB...flying free.

Precious and Marea

Juli IMOM

Board of Directors

Posts: 1704

(8/27/05 2:37 pm)

Reply Jean

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I'm thinking of you today Jean (and your Mom too). I know this was a hard decision for you to make, but I'm sure that you didn't do it without a lot of thought. I hope you are at peace with your decision and that Mariska is at peace at the Bridge.

Hugs,

Juli

JeanKBBMMMAA

Registered User

Posts: 762

(8/27/05 4:51 pm)

Reply Re: Jean

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Thank you all so very much for your messages. They mean so much. It's hard to get everything written that I want to right now, so I will wait. Again, we really appreciate all this support.

I will post more later, but I wanted you to see where we will be putting Mariska's Butterfly Bush. This is the one place where she could relax as long as nothing was going on.

Edited by: JeanKBBMMMAA at: 8/27/05 4:53 pm

kshort13

Registered User

Posts: 213

(8/27/05 9:24 pm)

Reply Re: Judy...

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Oh, Jean - I read about Mariska on the german shepherd board. I am heartbroken too. I've read about her from the first moment she was discovered in that shelter and Jeannie has kept many of us updated about her. I cried tears of joy to see Ivan in his new home and was so hopeful for Mariska. But, as I've so painfully learned also this year, some things are just not meant to be. I hope you and your mom will feel good about all the wonderful things you were able to do for her. She went from this world knowing she was loved and cherished.

Quote:

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The blessing in this case is that Mariska will live on in Ivan, and will have the most incredible life through him with his forever family.

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And just like with Annie with her babies, Mariska made sure he was safe before she left us... That, to me, is an amazing thing.

There is no doubt in my mind that the butterfly was Mariska's way of telling you she is fine and safe and no longer afraid. It's an undisputable sign from her... I will think of her every time I walk by my beautiful butterfly bush. Your tribute to her is so touching. I've saved it and will always have that reminder of Mariska.

I thank God every day for people like you and your mom who take a chance on these wounded animals.

I'll be thinking of you both and Jeannie too. I know how terribly hard it's been for you all.

Rest in peace beautiful girl...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kris

Murphy, Sheltie/Keeshond mix

Max, GSD

Taz, rescue gray kitty

Chessy, rescue B&W tuxedo kitty

Jacki, rescue Black DSH

Lucy, rescue gray & white DMH

Edited by: kshort13 at: 8/27/05 9:26 pm

Judy Leathers

Registered User

Posts: 3387

(8/29/05 7:43 am)

Reply Re: Jean

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Jean, what a beautiful spot for Mariska's butterfly bush.

I was watching the butterflies around my bush yesterday and thoughts of Mariska came into my mind...it brought a bittersweet smile to my face...Judy

JeanKBBMMMAAN

Unregistered User

(8/29/05 5:29 pm)

Reply Thank you

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I keep wanting to come back here to respond to each one of you, but can't seem to do it. Your words are all so beautiful and as soon as I begin to compose a reply, I just can't finish it. Please know how much what you have said means to my mom and me. And all of BrightStar.

I did want to let you know that the past two days, there has been a butterfly at the back door every time I let the dogs out. It flies right to the door and then flutters around the dogs, and strangely they don't try to get it like they do the other butterflies. I guess Mariska will always be one of the pack in the only way she could.

Kim

Local user

Posts: 5426

(8/29/05 6:12 pm)

Reply Re: Thank you

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Oh crap, here comes the Kleenex again. Jean, that's so cool and so incredibly touching....... we gotta believe that Mariska is happier in her new form , esp. since she can still be around you and the pack.

You don't owe anyone thanks, so just write when you feel up to it and it's therapeutic for you. Don't worry, we're not going anywhere!

Linda IMOM

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 1566

(8/29/05 6:18 pm)

Reply

Re: Thank you

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Quote:

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did want to let you know that the past two days, there has been a butterfly at the back door every time I let the dogs out. It flies right to the door and then flutters around the dogs, and strangely they don't try to get it like they do the other butterflies. I guess Mariska will always be one of the pack in the only way she could.

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OMG Jean, that is so incredibly beautiful. I have to find a pretty butterfly emotion for Mariska. Mariska must be telling us she's as free as a butterfly.

Collie Hugs - Linda aka ellgee

Please click below to visit my furbabies

community.webshots.com/album/134598199QrXRlg

Please visit Monty's memorial page

www.svcsr.org/notforgot/monty.htm

Although I can't seem to make this "clickable" heres Monty's IMOM forum when he was a PINkid

http://p088.ezboard.com/fimomcommunityfrm3...opicID=88.topic

paulajmnj

Registered User

Posts: 843

(8/29/05 6:42 pm)

Reply Re: Thank you

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yes a beautiful butterfly,going from flower to flower without a care in the world.an object of peace,serenity and beauty.

what a calming thought,any butterflys out at your Mom's?

to you

p

Linda IMOM

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 1567

(8/29/05 8:10 pm)

Reply Butterflies for Mariska

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Collie Hugs - Linda aka ellgee

Please click below to visit my furbabies

community.webshots.com/album/134598199QrXRlg

Please visit Monty's memorial page

www.svcsr.org/notforgot/monty.htm

Although I can't seem to make this "clickable" heres Monty's IMOM forum when he was a PINkid

http://p088.ezboard.com/fimomcommunityfrm3...opicID=88.topic

paulajmnj

Registered User

Posts: 844

(8/29/05 8:23 pm)

Reply Re: Butterflies for Mariska

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Linda the butterflies are just perfect

p

Edited by: paulajmnj at: 8/29/05 8:28 pm

kshort13

Registered User

Posts: 219

(8/29/05 9:39 pm)

Reply Re: Butterflies for Mariska

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Ohhh, Linda...those butterflies are so beautiful...

Quote:

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Oh crap, here comes the Kleenex again. Jean, that's so cool and so incredibly touching....... we gotta believe that Mariska is happier in her new form , esp. since she can still be around you and the pack.

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As usual, you said it so well Kim.

She will always be there with you, Jean. Isn't it just the most amazing thing how she decided to tell you that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kris

Murphy, Sheltie/Keeshond mix

Max, GSD

Taz, rescue gray kitty

Chessy, rescue B&W tuxedo kitty

Jacki, rescue Black DSH

Lucy, rescue gray & white DMH

JeanKBBMMMAAN

Unregistered User

(9/1/05 12:24 pm)

Reply Butterflies for Mariska

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SO beautiful, that butterfly montage, Linda. Once again, thank you all. I am still at a loss for words. It was a week ago today. My mom had crackers with her for breakfast and fed her steak. I took her for a nice ride and then we went to the gully and watched her try to relax. I am still so sorry and so sad. I get to see Ivan next Saturday. It will be very bittersweet. Thank you all again.

paulajmnj

Registered User

Posts: 854

(9/1/05 1:18 pm)

Reply Re: Butterflies for Mariska

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when you see that special boy give him a big old bear hug from his IMOM family and watch for a butterfly.

p

Edited by: paulajmnj at: 9/1/05 1:19 pm

JeanKBBMMMAA

Registered User

Posts: 1051

(12/20/05 12:43 pm)

Reply Living Tribute to Mariska-Merry Christmas To A Great Mom

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These are the most recent pictures of Ivan from his new family. He is happy, healthy, and well loved. He will never live the life his mother did-she saved him from that. I will be forever saddened by what we needed to do to help Mariska, but am blessed that I was able to help her son have the life she deserved.

Edited by: JeanKBBMMMAA at: 12/20/05 12:45 pm

paulajmnj

Registered User

Posts: 1186

(12/20/05 1:39 pm)

Reply Re: Living Tribute to Mariska-Merry Christmas To A Great Mom

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Jean,

maybe it's me but i see a lot of her in him. He looks great and sooo happy.

p

JeanKBBMMMAA

Registered User

Posts: 1062

(12/21/05 10:01 pm)

Reply Re: Living Tribute to Mariska-Merry Christmas To A Great Mom

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Quote:

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i see a lot of her in him...

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Very much so. His "issue" is a greeting disorder-he gets so excited when people visit he can't stop loving them. PHEW! That's not so bad. He has the confidence his poor mom was never able to develop. And his "sister" Liebby, keeps him in line-and he's doing really well with other dogs-I am so glad that he is where he is at. I will always worry about him, but know that he is in good hands and is loved as much as a dog can be loved.

Linda IMOM

Committee Volunteer

Posts: 2280

(12/22/05 10:00 pm)

Reply Re: Living Tribute to Mariska-Merry Christmas To A Great Mom

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Ivan looks wonderful - what a happy boy!!!

Collie Hugs - Linda aka ellgee

Please click below to visit my furbabies

community.webshots.com/album/134598199QrXRlg

Please visit Monty's memorial page

www.svcsr.org/notforgot/monty.htm

Although I can't seem to make this "clickable" heres Monty's IMOM forum when he was a PINkid

EzCode Parsing Error:=p088.ezboard.com/fimomcommunityfrm3.showMessage?topicID=88.topic[http://p088.ezboard.com/fimomcommunityfrm3.showMessage?topicID=88.topic[/link]

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Jean, you are so welcome, I was able to read about all the wonderful stories and can't tell you how much respect I have for you and your love of the animals. What an incrediable job you have done with Annalise and all the other dogs.

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Awww, thank you so much. Annalise has been a gift to me. I never would have made the IMOM friends I have and she just has a way of making each day special. I really do appreciate all your work in moving all these threads-it means a lot. Thank you again for your kind words.

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I can't believe it's been two years since Mariska was put to sleep. I still pray it was the right decision and her memory is a special and very painful one.

Just wanted to make sure you know you are never forgotten, you poor sweet thing. I wish I could have figured out a solution for you.

:broken_heart:

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I wish I could have figured out a solution for you.

You did. You let her go to a place where she feels safe and where nothing upsets her. You and your mom made the most loving decision that could have been made--you put Mariska's welfare above your own pain. There are many, many things in this world that would have been worse for Mariska to endure than a peaceful trip to the Bridge. You gave her a gift from your heart when you spared her those.

Celia

Edited by Rottendogs

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I second Celia’s comment. Sometimes, the best gift of love we can give to our furry kids is to help them cross the bridge.

Hugs.

Aline

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